I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
