Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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