Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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