why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
