Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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