Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
