butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
