Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
