you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Randomize