I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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