I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
