forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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