You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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