just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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