I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I deserve this hangover.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
