Are we in a gay sports bar?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
