Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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