sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I just sharted jello shots
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
