Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Randomize
