i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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