If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
