she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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