how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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