EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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