I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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