apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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