new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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