If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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