my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
