my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
