i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
