is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
