go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize