their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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