Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
