Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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