You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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