And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
