Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Someone signed my nipple.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
