he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
