The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
