bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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