he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
