Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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