well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
