and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
