could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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