My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm just crazy horny about you
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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