thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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