So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
