Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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