you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It was confusing and full of hummus
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize