it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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