Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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