just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
