Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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