All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
