brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
