people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
